Breakdown

This past Saturday afternoon, I attempted to complete my long run for the week, which was five miles. It was the toughest long run yet.

After about a mile and a half, my stomach starting feeling funny and my legs felt really heavy. Worst of all, I was having self doubt. The thought of completing 13.1 miles in less than two months has been really daunting. I’ve never been an athlete, and now I’m attempting to do something that I’m not sure my body is capable of. Scratch that. I know my body is capable of it. I just have to convince myself that I can do it.

At this point during my run, I was questioning everything, and I started to break down. I was literally sobbing on the treadmill. I didn’t feel this crappy last week, and five miles was pretty easy. But this was a bear. I would pull it together for a minute or two and tell myself to focus and remind myself to push through, but it didn’t work. I finally got to the three mile mark and had to stop. I figured that some weeks are tougher than others and that next week would be better.

Thirty minutes post crying session, I told myself, “No, you can’t give up like this. You are tougher than this. You CAN do it. You need to FINISH.” I laced my shoes back up and hopped back on the treadmill. I completed two more miles to finish the five miles. The two miles were much easier, and I felt so much better when I was finished. I felt like I could relax and had a sense of accomplishment. I believe I was meant to have this experience to teach me to keep going no matter what.

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