I’ve come to a realization. My priorities are not in check at all.
I’ve been putting on a front this whole time. I wanted other people to see me change, but I wasn’t ready to do it for myself. I’m always thinking of other people first. It’s always been in the front of my mind. Worry about what other people think of you. Don’t worry about what you really feel…or what you really want…or what you really need…for yourself.
Time after time, it leads to failure. Maybe I don’t know how to succeed, at least when it comes to this fitness thing. Food is my crutch. I always lean on it when things get rough. I need to learn to cope without it.
In a few weeks, I will be a new aunt. A precious little girl will enter my world. She will look at those around her, including her aunt, as a role model. She will look to me as an example of what she should be. I don’t want her to be me. I want her to be healthy and strong. I want her to be independent. I want her to know that she can set her mind on anything and achieve it.
I need to start being a role model. I don’t want her to grow up seeing a fat aunt who is not only physically weak, but weak minded. I want to show her how to be healthy.
I’ve committed to change before, and it may seem like a broken record at this point. But I feel like this may be the push I need to start moving in the right direction.
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